I grew up in the 1960's. That was a time of 'do your own thing'. We really believed it too, that we were very special and quite 'modern'. I think most of us realize now that we were just doing what everyone else was doing and trying hard to belong. Mostly we were acting the way we were programmed to by the media (weak as it was in comparison to the juggernaut we see now) of that time.
You all know what really doing my own thing would have meant for me back then, but I was the ultimate conformer. Maybe because of that history, or in spite of it, I can never quite let go of the deep desire to be special in some way.
The musical "The Fantasticks" is playing in Toronto right now. Sweetie and I took it in and remembered what a wonderful story it is. As with any good piece of writing, each time you visit, you receive a new gift. This time its gift to me was 'the girl', who is 'special'. When we meet her she tells us;
I'm sixteen years old and everyday something happens to me
Oh... Oh... Oooooh! I hug myself till my arms turn blue, and
then I close my eyes and I cry and cry till the tears come down
and I can taste them. I love to taste my tears. I am special.
I am special. Please, God, please, don't let me be normal!
and then sings
I'd like to swim in a clear blue stream
Where the water is icy cold.
Then go to town
In a golden gown,
And have my fortune told.
Just once before I'm old.
I'd like to be not evil,
But a little worldly wise.
To be the kind of girl designed
To be kissed upon the eyes.
I'd like to dance till two o'clock,
Or sometimes dance till dawn,
Or if the band could stand it,
Just go on and on and on
Before the chance is gone!
I'd like to waste a week or two
And never do a chore.
To wear my hair unfastened
So it billows to the floor.
To do the things I've dreamed about
But never done before!
Perhaps I'm bad, or wild, or mad,
With lots of grief in store,
But I want much more than keeping house!
Try to remember and always be young enough to dream.