"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

A Work In Progress

A sad event took place for my wife a couple of weeks ago. She felt devastated because while out shopping, wearing a set of earrings I had given to her on a significant birthday, she somehow lost one of them. After doing everything that could be done in an attempt to find the missing item, resigned to its loss, she confided to our daughter that she was dreading telling dad. "You needn't worry about that." my firstborn explained, "Dad is the sweetest person. He would never get angry about something like this."

After many hugs to console her on the loss of a 'thing' that can be replaced (well, we hope so anyway; the search for a match is proving difficult), she told me what our daughter had said. As you can imagine it moved me so much to know that the very best part of my stealthy self-improvement project is touching loved ones too. You see it really is not that terribly long ago that my wife would have been correct to dread telling me such a thing.

Somehow, self-acceptance, and self-confidence has translated into a general feeling of understanding (dare I say, empathy) for others too.

Oh, I still get angry. I am definitely a work in progress, but at least the direction is a good one that has been noticed and appreciated.


  1. It's quite moving to me to read this. I'm happy for you and for your family!

    It sucks to lose a cherished item, especially if memories are associated with it, but in the end it's just a thing. People mean so much more.

  2. Thanks Ariel. She really is upset, and you are right, it isn't about the object; it all about the associated memories we feel.

  3. I am sorry to read about the loss of this precious birthday gift to your wife but pleased to read that (I hope I'm right)you see yourself at a stage in your self-improvement project where your life breathes easier.

  4. Every word you say Halle speaks of your gentleness. Your daughter understand this.

    We are all works in progress.

  5. Hi,
    I don't have anything much to say, but just wanted you to know I look forward to reading what you write!

    Hilda from Istanbul

    And a note from not Hilda...as long as we can say that we have tried to be better today than yesterday, we are works in progress...when we stop trying to improve, we are diminished.

  6. Merhaba,
    Ama söyleyecek bir şey pek yok sadece seni yazmak ne okumak için sabırsızlanıyoruz bilmeni istedim!

    Hilda İstanbul

  7. Hilda, sen iyi bunu söylemek için. Herkesin senin iyi bir Türk ismi olduğu söylendi! En iyi, Halle dileklerimle

  8. Halle,

    Your work in progress is progressing very well. You are a sweet person. And yes, most "things" really don't matter.

    Peggy xxoo

  9. Working change like that within yourself - and seeing something positive for those you love come out of it is just plain awesome. That's one of the best parts of a journey of self discovery, isn't it?
    Makes it so worth it.

  10. I find its a lovely feeling to have empathy for others - spent such a long time feeling angry and what a waste.

    Great that others are noticing the changes - makes it all worthwhile