It would have been so much easier if I had a hobby; dressing up and going out with the gurls now and then for fun and then putting it all away for the rest of the month.
Instead, I had to be me, and what does that mean? Right now, (and remember, I am not full-time yet) it means sore boobs, an extra x minutes to get ready to do anything, and the need to think about how I speak or walk on this particular day and what I eat and oh, get lots of exercise so this changing body doesn't get way out of shape. Oh, and how can I forget, what I am going to wear (the fun part), and whether that is only androgynous, or maybe something to push the boundaries a little.
I seriously wonder if life will ever feel normal again. Feeling normal would mean acceptance (the final stage) by me and by others around me. Yes, you read that correctly; I need to accept me first, and at the moment am stuck swirling in a whirlpool made of those other four stages of grief.
It is all fun and games until you find your heart's desire, and then the serious business of finding your I begins.