I want this blog to be something useful. There is one more area where my thoughts and experience can be a help to someone stumbling along a similar path to the one I followed, a path that led me to become the woman everyone sees now.
Let me suggest that something that made all the difference for me (eventually) was my stubborn refusal to numb the pain I felt any longer. Starting this blog back in 2010 was part of extensive self-examination and that is what lead me along a path to healing. If someone had told me that it was going to take five years more to work it out for myself with help along the way from so many, I might have felt defeated, but that five year process was essential. Through it came certainty.
For the transsexual, there is little room for doubt in the end. You should, you must doubt your thoughts and desires as you begin. By the time you act upon those feelings, thoughts and desires, you must, be fearless and certain of what you are doing.
That change from doubt to fearless certainty requires tremendous growth. You need to make room for a new way of seeing the world. You must be prepared to leave so much behind that cannot be taken along on that path. There might be pleasant surprises once you are on your way, but you mustn't expect them. Make no mistake, changing your sex is not for the faint of heart, and it is definitely not for someone who is ignoring any part of the pain that initiated the process in the first place.
I'm going to close with a video that was the catalyst for finally putting these ideas down. A surprisingly clear analogy that is applicable to anyone who is under stress, but resonated strongly (obviously) for me.
Love and be fiercely loyal to yourself!
Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski on Responding to Stress