"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Monday, 28 August 2017

Who Are You?

There have been a lot of changes in my life over this past two years. Two years is significant because that is when physical transition truly started with a visit to an endocrinologist and a prescription for estrogen therapy. It was a year and a half ago that I came out to all friends and relatives. Since then, living as myself, one might think that all vestiges of the male façade might have left. A gradual process to be sure. 

One evening a few weeks ago my best buddy from high school days, whom I've kept in contact with for the fifty years or so since, phoned. We talked the same way we always have; as though we haven't been separated at all. He knows I'm still me. However, what came from within me came as a complete surprise. I was shocked to hear echoes of that persona who was his best friend, his very male friend for all those years, talking through me very, very briefly. It was the cadence of my voice from those days, not the pitch, but still I was taken by surprise. 

Coincidently, there was a reunion in person with that same friend along with some others this past week. In person, I found myself relating to him and another male friend very differently; still me, but definitely different. I felt tenderness toward them, if that makes any sense at all. 

On a very personal note, and I almost hesitate to post this; oh what the heck.... next week I shall be having some very long-overdue corrective surgery furthering that gradual process referred to above. No surgery is minor; there could be complications and to have any elective procedure without full appreciation of those risks is folly. 

In high hopes your hostess will be back to report a speedy recovery in a couple of weeks...