A Limit That Means Happiness

Two lifelong interests have been music and mathematics. I've said more than once that without music I would lose my sanity. 

Recently it has occurred to me when it comes to keeping gender dysphoria at bay, the things I do that help most have something in common; they all encourage my mind to be in the moment. 

Stated mathematically, it looks something like this

which looks pretty incomprehensible, but really is not all that bad. Let me explain:

First of all, H is me and h is happiness. t is a measure of time, and the Greek letters are other factors that can make me happy. These are things like how interesting the book I'm currently reading is, or how long it has been since seeing our grandchild, and other things like how long it has been since chatting with friends who know my whole story. 

So, 

is Halle's happiness, a function of time and a whole lot of other things.

Now t can be a negative number when I am thinking of the past and positive when I am thinking about the future. The size of t indicates how immersed I am in that time period. And if t could equal zero, that would mean I am living totally in the moment.

So, the equation up above is saying that as t gets close to zero, that is I get closer and closer to living in the moment, my happiness gets so large it cannot be measured ~ the infinity symbol ~ 

Cool eh?

Now, why does making music consistently make me happy? It's because when I am making music, there is no way to think about the past, and no reason to focus on much beyond the moment. There is just way too much going on in your mind. You are living on the edge. The more challenging the piece, the closer t gets to zero and the happier I am with being me. 

Another thought on getting that t value to be small. The best golf I have ever played was when I was totally immersed in each shot as I played it. 

Not what happened before
  ~  
Not what might happen next.
~

Live in the Moment