When I was a child, I remember The Balloon Lady, a Royal Doulton figurine. It sat on my Grandmother's mantle. I have no idea what became of that lady after Grandma died, but last Christmas K bought a new lady, one of our own, to sit on our mantle.
In the Disney movie Mary Poppins Returns, near the end, the Balloon Lady makes an appearance, played by Dame Angela Lansbury, and sings a lovely song:
Life's a balloon That tumbles or rises Depending on what is inside Fill it with hope And playful surprises And oh, deary ducks Then you're in for a ride
Those playful surprises that make life worth living require us to be open and honest with ourselves and others. Fortunately, in my day-to-day life, going about shouting "I'm a woman!" hasn't been necessary. That isn't to say that people are convinced I was born female - quite the contrary - I get all sorts of puzzled looks when people first encounter me.
The reason it isn't important is that, where I live at least, when people find out that I'm comfortable in my skin, not hiding or pretending, they accept me.
I believe there is an important reason not to hide or try to pretend. The people in this community know me now. I am a pleasant woman who shops and chats with them. I am a friendly member of the community band.
By engaging with people as a regular member of society, you become one of them. What do you suppose is going to happen when these good people who know me are in a gathering where a discussion comes up about how awful it is about all of these trans-women (or trans-men)? I'm sure they will have at least one example to use to convince others that we are far from threatening. We are not so different from anyone else.
You and I are creating the environment for all the trans and queer kids who follow. Hiding our playful, wonderful nature under a basket won't do us or them any good. If we are a threat, make it because we fit in too well. Bigots can't stand that.
The past is the past It lives on as history And that's an important thing The future comes fast Each second a mystery For nobody knows what Tomorrow may bring
Here we have another example of politicians who are sure they know better than Medical Associations or parents of children who are living with dysphoria.
"North Dakota joins at least 13 other states that have enacted laws restricting or banning gender-affirming care for minors.
Republican lawmakers across the country have advanced hundreds of measures aimed at nearly every facet of trans existence this year.
That includes bans on gender-affirming medical care for minors, restrictions on the types of restrooms transgender people can use, measures restricting classroom instruction on sexual orientation and gender identity, and bills that would out transgender students who want teachers to address them by the pronouns they use."
Mother nature provides us all with what we need to survive, so how or why should we exceed that exquisite programming?
Yesterday we took our dogs to the groomers. As soon as we got home, one of them went out to our backyard and proceeded to roll all over the ground, and in some poop, as well. She might have had an itchy back, but I suspect her behaviour was related to something a lot more primitive. Nature's way of protecting dogs, and us, too, is to help us to fit in with our surroundings. By rolling in that poo and the grass, she was disguising those odours that stopped her from fitting in.
Humans have survived with similar instincts. We fit in. Standing out from the crowd makes you vulnerable. Yet, we are humans, not dogs or cattle. Because we can think, we can exceed our basic programming and rise above primitive fears. Or can we?
For hundreds of years appealing to that instinct to fit in has played into the desires of those who would control us. They point at someone who would defy them and declare that those people are evil and must be purged. Kings and Popes have used this technique to declare wars, pogroms, inquisitions, and systematic genocides. Millions have died because good humans who just wanted to protect themselves and their families were convinced that those different people were a dire threat. No monarch, president, chancellor, or church leader could have killed so many on their own. They used their voices and lies to do that for them.
Not so terribly long ago the boogeyman of polite society was the homosexual. A huge part of humanity lived in fear of discovery. They died rather than be castrated by the state. These were good people who would never have harmed anyone else. Quite the opposite, they desired only to be allowed to do what they would want for others; live as they were made and as they desired and leave others to do the same.
Today, for the most part, we live in societies where being 'gay' is acceptable. The boogeyman now is the transgender threat.
Oh, I know, I'm preaching to the choir here. Nobody who reads this will hate me because I defied the judgement made when I was born. Everyone looked at my body and declared that I should live as a man until death. Changing that was an action I never should have had to do. But nobody should have to live hating themselves for what goes on inside their head, unless that thing harms the rest of the world. So there is the crux of the matter. Someone who wants to control others will do what they can to convince your sisters and brothers that doing what is right for you is evil. Think about that. It is what they truly believe. If they believe it for me then they believe it for you as well. Anyone who choses to do what is right for themselves is the enemy of those who wish to control everyone else.
Fear that leader who points at someone different and says, "Hate them!"
Rise above your programming, encourage others to do the same, and love one another.
Pity those who act mindlessly because they are unwilling to think.
It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion;
it is easy in solitude to live after our own;
but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd
keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.
There are times when events can make me feel quite hopeless about the world, and I wonder.
Where can we find a message that says there is hope?
Who will tell us that being who we are isn't terrible - even though there are terrible events and, sometimes, terrible people in the world?
Who can tell us, and show us, that living as we are, openly and without shame, is what is right and good?
If you are green, purple, black, gay or trans, or any other colour of the rainbow, be yourself. Sing along, if you can. Or just listen, and, perhaps, have a good cry as I did (tears of happiness, I assure you).
