tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post8120805481318417693..comments2024-01-31T09:36:11.225-05:00Comments on Two Spirits - One Halle: Self Care or Martyrdom?Hallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-90779520657395542162012-04-23T06:50:08.328-04:002012-04-23T06:50:08.328-04:00It is pretty likely that from an outside view, wha...It is pretty likely that from an outside view, what is really going on is always some third way that is neither one nor the other. For me it is about noticing when what feels like martyrdom is threatening to take over and gently refusing to go there. <br /><br />Hmm, if your situation is similar to mine, you have my condolences Charlene. :-)Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-74055665486960376772012-04-22T21:46:11.163-04:002012-04-22T21:46:11.163-04:00Hi Halle. I'm a new reader of yours... anyway...Hi Halle. I'm a new reader of yours... anyway, just thought I'd comment on one line:<br /><br />"Somehow, I must find the balance between self care and martyrdom."<br /><br />I really can't say this with certainty, but it seems to me that perhaps it's not so much a balance between two opposites, as a third way. I think perhaps it's quite a difficult way, and subtleCharlenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07375321147914200443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-85547154554327429732012-04-11T10:00:16.326-04:002012-04-11T10:00:16.326-04:00I have always been shocked by the negative reactio...I have always been shocked by the negative reactions of parents, choosing to create a child is an enormous leap of faith, the ultimate lottery. Nobody gets to set conditions on eye colour, physique, intelligence or biological sex...<br /><br />Sadly we live in a society where it is almost impossible for most transsexual children to express themselves early enough and get parental support. We haveCarolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133031265351841626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-14955890735747619762012-04-10T22:29:17.367-04:002012-04-10T22:29:17.367-04:00It is so difficult to find a path somewhere that h...It is so difficult to find a path somewhere that honours both sides of our natures. Having people around you who are actively attempting sabotage just makes it harder. Such are the well meaning members of family, and sadly spouses who feel threatened. <br /><br />Looking forward to your letter my friend. :)Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-76436304258478820752012-04-10T22:14:03.619-04:002012-04-10T22:14:03.619-04:00Amazing blog and comments, Halle. I just want you...Amazing blog and comments, Halle. I just want you to know I haven't forgotten about you and I still plan to answer your last email to me. What you blogged about here is what has been brewing in my brain for some time now. My wife, though accepting, still does not fully understand what we feel. I spend quite a bit of time meditating about how to explain it. I'll fill you in soon. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-5132739870529452962012-04-10T02:00:41.757-04:002012-04-10T02:00:41.757-04:00Sonora,
Thank you. I feel both lucky and blessed....Sonora,<br /><br />Thank you. I feel both lucky and blessed. As far as perceptions go, I admit that I pick and choose on that one. I place more importance on being perceived as a woman than what my orientation may show. After I became aware, I was finally able to make the distinction between orientation and gender. Once I could discern between the two, the most important one for me became obviousSarah Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13018597739320720216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-88089159304006234742012-04-09T22:37:47.735-04:002012-04-09T22:37:47.735-04:00Ariel, I love the way your thinking cuts right thr...Ariel, I love the way your thinking cuts right through it all sometimes. Your third paragraph on how important sex is makes me wonder why that had not occurred to me. Spot on, as you say!<br /><br />Have to agree with you now too about what I would be doing if it wasn't for my spouse, who I care about more than my own life. If not for her, I would make this body right and yes, I would be Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-76491013788679707512012-04-09T22:32:35.131-04:002012-04-09T22:32:35.131-04:00Cynthia, even since leaving the organized church f...Cynthia, even since leaving the organized church for my own reasons, I still try to imagine what Jesus would say, or do if he was with us. <br /><br />Personally, and in spite of what <b>some</b> churches have to say, I believe strongly that Jesus would say that love is love, and God does not make junk. <br /><br />Looking forward to your post.<br /><br />xxxHallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-21029692257715110752012-04-09T18:53:37.986-04:002012-04-09T18:53:37.986-04:00I have been working on a post about this very subj...I have been working on a post about this very subject... that is... like you and your wife... pertaining to my wife and myself. But what I am trying to figure out... is... what all of this means to us as a Christian couple in a Christian marriage where homosexuality is wrong. If I ever get it finished I will certainly publish it for all to read.<br /><br />About Debra and her parents... I tried Cynthia Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16222413324022459669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-75839237209397336702012-04-09T13:37:31.689-04:002012-04-09T13:37:31.689-04:00I agree with you about unconditional love being th...I agree with you about unconditional love being the only kind that is really love. Unfortunately, some people, even parents, are not capable of that kind of love. In the case of having a child who was born transsexual, maybe they would be able to love if they really grasped what that meant. But very often, they do not.<br /><br />I have said before that I pass no judgment on spouses who leave Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-77764688259483814292012-04-09T11:01:32.487-04:002012-04-09T11:01:32.487-04:00Sarah, I was hoping you might comment. I wonder, d...Sarah, I was hoping you might comment. I wonder, do <b>you</b> think of yourselves as a lesbian couple when teaching your college students?Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-20345110831748501382012-04-09T10:56:51.925-04:002012-04-09T10:56:51.925-04:00"However sad that may be"; hmm, sad inde..."However sad that may be"; hmm, sad indeed Sophie, because that sort of 'sympathy' might not really be welcome as a lifestyle would it. Imagine going through life with others looking at you in sympathy. You might also feel as though others are blaming you that you were not woman enough to bring out the man, etc.Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-61433776163358136902012-04-09T10:03:16.147-04:002012-04-09T10:03:16.147-04:00After reading your post and the comments, I must a...After reading your post and the comments, I must agree with Ellena. I have seen both sides of this coin, as my first wife filed for divorce because she couldn't live with another woman in the marriage. I now realize that filing for divorce was out of a great deal of fear of being rejected by her family, rejection, by her friends at work and church; as she has recently made her peace betweenKay & Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04244257765709660605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-60822088784672397022012-04-09T09:20:14.185-04:002012-04-09T09:20:14.185-04:00Well, I cannot say if one is 'born homosexual&...Well, I cannot say if one is 'born homosexual'or born bisexual for that matter, but it seems to me to be like transsexual, that once established within, you either are or are not and no amount of thinking can change it. So Ellena, I think we are in agreement. Opting to stay in the relationship after it has the outward appearance of a lesbian relationship must be hard for those who have noHallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-37956997633187358372012-04-09T08:27:33.746-04:002012-04-09T08:27:33.746-04:00There is so much that a female partner has to be o...There is so much that a female partner has to be or has to become in order to remain in a relationship were the male partner transitions but in my opinion she will never become a lesbian just because she opts for staying in this relationship. How does one become a lesbian - I may be wrong thinking that one is born homosexual.Ellenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14965850008354379369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-3879650130092463922012-04-09T08:09:05.479-04:002012-04-09T08:09:05.479-04:00Re others' perceptions. Wondering how far it v...Re others' perceptions. Wondering how far it varies depending on how out the trans person is. Can imagine that a spouse would have problems of misperceived sexual orientation if the transitioner wanted to be stealth, but if out then people's attitudes towards the spouse would surely be far more generally sympathetic, and far less likely to categorise her as lesbian. However sad that may Sophiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08776623935042983118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-14829020234576522982012-04-09T06:40:38.869-04:002012-04-09T06:40:38.869-04:00I will admit that finding a way to "be the wo...I will admit that finding a way to "be the woman" while still wandering around in this very male body is becoming increasingly difficult. Thank you at any rate. I can never have too many friends, although I will admit to wishing I could put a name on them all. As you know, I am not averse to pseudonyms. :)Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-48738530502992334642012-04-09T06:37:08.925-04:002012-04-09T06:37:08.925-04:00I see the distinction and thank you for pointing t...I see the distinction and thank you for pointing that out Sarah:<i> "The difference is the amount of importance the couple place on the opinions and remarks of others."</i> Being <i>seen</i> to be homosexual would be very hard for some people and that is what we are asking isn't it?Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-45118453189897338132012-04-09T00:49:44.874-04:002012-04-09T00:49:44.874-04:00Sarah, it sounds as though your spouse may be hete...Sarah, it sounds as though your spouse may be heterosexual, but homo-(or bi- or pan-)romantic. I am increasingly seeing younger people separating their sexual attractions from their romantic attractions; while for most those two line up, in a few they don't. You are very lucky that you've found yourself with someone who is able to romantically love you as the gender you are, even if that&Sonora Sagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03656006414649269766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-21725876842549927982012-04-08T22:53:34.041-04:002012-04-08T22:53:34.041-04:00Keep it simple, Halle. You are TG. You are '...Keep it simple, Halle. You are TG. You are 'trans'. Be well with that. Be the 'man' your wife married, loves and needs, and....be the 'woman' that yu know and need.<br /><br />Discreetly two-spirited.<br /><br />Be well,<br /><br />Your FriendAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-48614965860645765182012-04-08T22:28:20.686-04:002012-04-08T22:28:20.686-04:00Halle,
That was a great post that hit on some imp...Halle,<br /><br />That was a great post that hit on some important points. As to being a transgender child or sibling, I missed out on that one since my brother and both parents passed away before I became aware. I have a feeling though that my brother would accept his sister, and while my Dad would have had some difficulty, he would be able to eventually adjust to me as his daughter. That leavesSarah Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13018597739320720216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-44511025616399999572012-04-08T21:01:30.963-04:002012-04-08T21:01:30.963-04:00Or just the way you might? :-)Or just the way you might? :-)Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6270306578933066732.post-64780109730950304092012-04-08T20:51:48.180-04:002012-04-08T20:51:48.180-04:00Well, you said that better than I ever could!
Er....Well, you said that better than I ever could!<br /><br />Er.... ;-)Sonora Sagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03656006414649269766noreply@blogger.com