What It's Like

This poem encapsulates how I have always felt so beautifully. 

~ ~ ~

‘What’s it like to be a woman?”

A little bird whispered in my ear.

‘Is it just like being human?’

Oh it is so much more, my dear.

We are the holders, we are the keepers,

Of the secrets and the truth.

We are the safe place in a storm,

The creator of all youth.

We are the place where life is softest,

We are the colour in the story.

We are the wisdom and the instinct,

Mother Nature in all her glory.

We are the taker of all worry,

We keep it deep within our hearts.

So that others may unburden,

So that great new lives may start.

We are the makers of the home,

Not just the walls but of the spirit.

Bringing everyone together,

Letting love and laughter fill it.

We are sisters, mothers, wives,

So many things in every day.

We are the start of every life,

We are the reason, we are the way.

We are fuelled by intuition,

Call it magic, if you like

We are truly so much more,

Than any words that I could write.

Donna Ashworth

https://donnaashworth.com/

Regarding Us

Good fiction has the power to change minds and, more importantly, hearts. There might be a good book in my brain, but so far it hasn't forced me to do the hard work necessary to bring it to life. Fortunately, there are others who do just that. 

Regarding Us is not a book, but an independent film that had its sold out premiere at Dances with Films in Los Angeles this past June. It tells the story of Veronica Hathaway (Alexandra Grey), a transgender woman who loses her teaching job at a Catholic school after being outed. Close to suicide, Veronica's life takes a turn for the better in unexpected ways.  

The video review by Nick and Joseph on Fish Jelly Film Reviews appears below, but it is a spoiler, so if you intend to see the movie, during the week of December 5th, you might want to pass on watching it. However, if you are like me, watching a good movie twice is never a problem so having watched their extended review I still look forward to watching this movie. 

I won't be able to get to Greenwich Village in New York City to see Regarding Us at Cinéma Village in early December, but it will be coming out on streaming services in late January. 

As I say, I look forward to seeing this movie and I would definitely buy the book.

Careful The Things You Say

Growing up in the 1950s and 60s meant that being different was unacceptable. What I felt in my bones was confusing; desires for something that was forbidden because of an appendage that shouldn't have been there. I might have defied most of society, but my life of self-loathing began with things carelessly spoken by people I trusted. What was said wasn't directed at me but it hit home. 

Any man who was less than manly got called 'girly man' in a tone that spoke hatred. Being called 'sissy' was just about the worst thing a boy could hear. To admit a need to be one of the girls was unthinkable.

I was lucky enough to live past the depression that set in as I became an adult by determination alone. No, I wasn't determined enough to go to a doctor and admit who I was. It seems certain that would have got me a ticket to an insane asylum in those days. Instead, I did what so many of us did back then. I went into deep denial, becoming as manly as the rest of the men I knew just to get on with my life. I had wonderful, manly, role models. The façade was born. 

Here is my plea to parents and all role models. If you really love someone, accept them as they are, no matter what expectations you might have had of them. But there is more. Even though you might love someone enough to accept them when you are informed, avoid damaging your relationship with them by speaking carelessly about others. Please take care what you say. Children who might not be able to do anything about their feelings will listen. If they think you and everyone else hates them, they will hate themselves, too. Think how you will feel if you find out they killed themselves because they knew you would hate them. 

If someone truly hates everyone who dares to be different, they must also be determined enough and crass enough to hate their own children when they turn out to be different, too. 

Children listen. They learn what you really think and really believe by observing you. Once said, a derogatory comment about gays or lesbians or trans people cannot be unsaid. If your child isn't strong enough to ignore you and move ahead on their own - if they take what you have said to heart - they might just decide that dying is preferable to disappointing everyone by being authentic. 

If you think this has been featured before, you are a true fan! 

Careful the things you say,

Children will listen.

Careful the things you do,

Children will see.

And learn.

Children may not obey,

But children will listen.

Children will look to you

For which way to turn,

To learn what to be.

Careful before you say,

'Listen to me.'

Children will listen.

Careful the wish you make,

Wishes are children.

Careful the path they take,

Wishes come true,

Not free.

Careful the spell you cast,

Not just on children.

Sometimes the spell may last

Past what you can see

And turn against you...

Careful the tale you tell.

That is the spell.

Children will listen...

from Into the Woods

written by Stephen Sondheim