"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Tuesday, 12 January 2021

You Must Read This Book

What a lucky day it was that, on a whim back in the fall, I checked the inbox of an old email address and found a request from Kim Corbin, Senior Publicist of New World Books, to review Paria Hassouri's autobiographical book Found in Transition.*

This is a very frank story by and about a parent whose child has grown up as a boy, but has now told her parents she is a woman. From the first chapter, it is clear Paria is a wonderful parent who is trying to do what wonderful parents do - the very best for her children. This account of her search for what that very-best-thing will be makes excellent reading. She clearly values truth above all. Laying bare her failings, Paria takes you along as she grows as a parent, learning to let go of fear and lead with love.  

I found myself, both as a parent and a woman who transitioned very late in life, nodding my head in agreement at Paria's struggles to understand what was happening, crying with her as she grieved the loss of a son and hoping, as she hoped, that her daughter would be safe and happy. 

Paria's dedication at the front of the book tells you much about her and the book:
For Ava, who always teaches me much more than I can ever hope to teach her, and every other child brave enough to live their truth.
And for every parent struggling with making the best decisions for their child with the knowledge that they have.

I began making notes while reading the book, but it soon became obvious that this post would be way too long if I attempt to incorporate them. I strongly suggest you buy and read Paria Hassouri's story. Make your own notes. 

*Hassouri, Paria, Found in transition : a mother’s evolution during her child’s gender change; New World Library, 14 Pamaron Way, Novato, California 94949 U.S.A.

Thursday, 3 December 2020

Not For the Faint-of-Heart

 Just when you have stopped thinking about transition because, after all, you are a woman and that is the final word on that subject, something makes you trans again. 

Five years ago, just before coming out to the world, and beginning to live as I am now, I purchased a new vehicle. I really like that car. It has been a great vehicle for me. But it's getting on, and that extended warranty is becoming really useful because some things are going wrong. 

Guess what happens when you take a vehicle in for warranty work. Even though the license is in your name, and has been for four years, all that paperwork from five years ago comes back to remind you who really bought your vehicle. 

Four times before today, I have told them (and shown them the ownership to prove it) that I am the owner of the vehicle and that the phone number they have for me is incorrect. Four times I have given them the correct name and phone number. 

I have had to wait two months for the parts to arrive (sorry sir, but they are on backorder ... ) but finally this morning the call came to schedule the work. 

" ... ok, great, we will see you next week .. uhh ... by the way the car seems to be owned by <old name> ... pause ... should we fix that? "

Five times ... 

I am calm now. Being trans isn't for the faint-of-heart, after all.  

Wednesday, 30 September 2020

How To Be A Girl

In the spirit of the previous post, here is another "in the public service". 

Some good friends (thank you T & L) alerted me to this very well-produced podcast - How To Be A Girl.

Marlo Mack (a pseudonym) began sharing her and her transgender daughter’s story back in 2013, when her daughter was five. 

The first episode - Mama, I'm A Girl - was presented in June 2014. It is below in the cartoon version. Or you can find it and all others on Marla's webpage. She also has a blog, gendermom, with lots of goodies. I have checked and new posts of gendermom appear on T-Central. 

I have only listened to the first four episodes myself, so I'm going to head back and listen to more before supper. Based on those few early ones, I just had to alert anyone who might stop by. 


How to Be a Girl from gendermom on Vimeo.