"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Tuesday, 16 July 2019

Wearing The Pants

It has been a while since K and I decided to remove the landline from this house; relying instead upon our cell phones. As I recall, my comment was, "If someone wants to talk to the house, they are out of luck.

We are saving money, and we get far fewer calls asking us to buy things we don't need. As K says, "If we need something, or we want to donate to a charity, it should be our idea; not someone else's." It is a rule of the house that we say "no, thank you" to anyone who comes to the door, or calls, asking us to buy or donate.

Someone asked recently what my reply would be to a request to speak to the man of the house. After being taken aback a lot, thinking how primitive that idea always was, then remembering how prevalent that sort of thinking was not that long ago, I replied that I would probably say "He isn't in right now. Can I take a message?

Generally someone in a family does take the lead in the finances and running the place. Here, I am in charge of the kitchen, and otherwise K takes charge. We both like it that way. It suits our skill sets. 

When it comes to wearing the pants, K is definitely more likely to fit the description, generally because she likes wearing jeans, and I really enjoy the freedom of wearing a skirt or dress. More to the point, though, I love the feeling of someone I trust completely taking care of me and K loves my cooking!

And just to be perfectly clear: 

there are no men in this house

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

And So It Goes - Again

It comes as a surprise that some people can manage to make daily contributions to a blog. That they manage to make it meaningful under those circumstances amazes me. 

This isn't a daily blog and that makes such a difference - I won't say goodbye or never again. Yet it is understandable to me that some announce the end of their blog. 

Four years ago we said goodbye to Call Me Meg (yes Meg, I saw your comment on Stana's post and it gladdened my heart to know you are still out there). 

Earlier this year, Caroline announced that TIME REGAINED was done, and so far, she hasn't seen fit to change her mind.

On Saturday, Stana threw in the towel and that surprised me. Yet, given what I wrote above, (she has been writing Femulate for over twelve years ... wow) we can all agree she doesn't owe the community a thing. 

Having given that some thought, none of us do. 

In every heart there is a room 
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretence 
And still I feel I said too much 
My silence is my self defence

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

Monday, 29 April 2019

A Long Path to a Place of Peace

It is that time of the year when musical activities come to a close. We will start again in September. Like university and college programs, we are active in the least beautiful months, weather-wise here in Canada. I suppose too many of the participants are busy doing other things to sustain a band or an orchestra through the summer.

At any rate, we have had concerts these past three weekends and it is time for a break. Yesterday was a wrap-up party for a group I joined just two weeks after my surgery. A woman I have got to know very well, whose husband I knew years before (so they were in on my transition), told me how much they admired how I simply got on with being me.

To my credit, I was not dismissive or overly humble, but simply thanked her for the compliment. Her comments made me think about the path that had brought me to a place where I could just get on with being me

The casual reader may not want to read through over four hundred posts to attempt to glean what made me able to live comfortably in such new skin. Sadly, there is no recipe for success in ditching a façade and finding one's long-misplaced self.

My story and path is here, all around, in hints, words, and feelings expressed, none better than those from Socrates and Richard Bach - words that speak of love; of friends closer than family, and soul searching. 

If you are a seeker - a fellow traveller on this journey, my advice is to go thou and do likewise. My hopes are travelling with you.