One of the most disturbing situations since outing myself to my sweetie was finding late last year that a local charity was likely to ask me to be one of the men doing drag for a fundraiser. I’m no prude, in fact the guy is usually a ‘good sport’, but this activity would have involved making fun of ‘being a woman’.
It offended me to even think of doing this. None of our friends know about Halle, so they would have thought 'I' was just being a 'party pooper'. "What's the problem? Be a good sport."
In the end, others stepped forward, and I was spared the conflict it would have created.
Trying to be really honest about this incident is hard; I’ll give it a try, but those of you who can relate might chime in if you have other theories from your own experience.
My theory: it’s not about doing drag, something that, done by others, does not offend me at all. I feel like it has to do with the love of my life thinking that not only is there a woman living inside her ‘knight’, but the woman only wants to dress up; she isn’t seriously female. Over time I hope to show her that my feminine nature deserves a proper outlet, in dress that is appropriate to the situation, because like all women, looking my best is something I value. Even though I maintain the façade, there is a big part of me that sees me as a woman now. I want her first to see all the other feminine qualities I value that have nothing to do with dressing up.
Maybe I don't do drag because a woman doing drag should dress as a man?
Maybe I'm confused.
Halle
That's a difficult one, guess it depends on the situation in question. I'd happily wander round en femme with a collecting bucket but I agree with you that I wouldn't wish to be in a situation where I'm the badly dressed man-in-a-dress being made fun of.
ReplyDeleteMy concern would be inadvertantly coming out by making too good a job of it.
Hmm, yes, it would probably be obvious that I would be taking it too seriously, trying to make a good job of it.
ReplyDeleteHalle, I absolutely agree. I could never do that. I can't even explain why. Drag queens are a different breed. I have known several. We are not Drag queens. Never were. Never will be.
ReplyDeleteCalie xxx
I hate any form of "drag". It is only a form of mockery and is ALWAYS part of some big joke. I don't understand it because most drag is so "over the top" that it cannot possibly represent any form of true femininity. YouTube is full of gay men who are masters at make-up and see drag as an art form rather than an expression of feminine desire. If you don't WANT to be a girl, then don't dress like one just to be funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm completely new to blogging - no idea who will read this. Your material, particularly Halle's 'manifesto' "Until I come up with a better plan..." reads like manna from heaven. I gave up obsessive cross-dressing about a year ago with the same agenda. Its going well, but its good to find others in a similar place.
ReplyDeletePS. I don't even understand the options under 'Choose an identity'
so I'm choosing anonymous. What does OpenID mean, for instance?
Hello Anon,
ReplyDeleteI cannot be sure you will read this, but anyway, thanks for the comment and the shared feelings on my manifesto.
If you open a gmail account, I think you can 'login' using that. I believe you can go to "blogger dot com" and set up a profile without actually starting a blog.
Perhaps an email to "rushtonic at hotmail.com" might follow at any rate, so we can make some contact that way.
Hugs,
Halle