It seems that you've been living two lives ...

We who live two lives, for at least some of our life, understand the reference right away. It is from 'The Matrix'.  In that film, Mr Anderson has another life online as Neo. I don't imagine every transperson creates an online persona in the gender other than the one assigned, but I had several over the years, including a lady who was my avatar in a golf game that my son and I played on the computer quite often. He has never mentioned that ... hmm.

When the character Morpheus said “What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.” some of us got it right away. We related strongly because we knew there was something terribly wrong with our world. 

So you can read the rest here then click the link at the bottom or, of course, you can take the blue pill ...“You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”

I didn't see 'The Matrix' when it came out in theatres in 1999. It was in the early 2000s via VHS tape that I heard the Oracle tell me, as she told Neo "Sorry, Kid. You got The Gift, but it looks like you're waiting for something." 

What I was waiting for I had to find for myself. This article has reminded me that without the computer, and the internet, I likely would never have been able to put all the pieces together. I might never have used my gift to discover that one of my lives did have a future. 

The article is called 'I, too, was living a double life': Why trans fans connect to 'The Matrix' and it is on the NPR site in the US.