This morning I realized for this past two months or so I have been wasting energy trying to make things happen for myself. At the same time, there has been a lack of spiritual connections. But there is no way to force a connection with one's inner spirit.
Coincidentally, (or could it all be connected?) in this past while, my lack of feminine expression has been on my mind more than any time in the past two years; a terrific distraction.
Lucy's post jarred me this morning. Among many things, what she wrote reminded me that my job is to set the course and allow things to happen in their own way.
My transition has been unique to me; one in which things have changed slowly, yet change has happened.
Attitudes, mine and others around me, are slowly and subtly shifting. That is my way, and my plan for me.
I am not my body and my true nature shines through in spite of appearances. Even more though, my true nature is just that; true. I am under no obligation to my family or anyone else to become someone new or stay as someone familiar.
This morning, I woke up twice. I now remember that what is important is to have as much fun as I can letting things take their course.
Your final sentence is something which I am having to exercise great patience over. But the results will be quite wonderful.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear that. Looking forward to hearing more Tom.
DeleteJust be true to yourself, no more, no less ...
ReplyDeleteHi Halle
ReplyDeleteFrom my perspective as far as is practical or possible, to forgive our suffering bodies and gain in some measure the inner peace that may bring. By way of example, suffering a perennial bad back, I find some solace in accepting some nerve pain as just the body trying to do its duty, to inform, rather than to cause pain. In so doing the mind can be more accepting and pave the way to potentially reduce the burden. To be at peace with one self I think goes to the heart of the matter.
Best wishes
The analogy of a bad back is actually a good one for me to use, for as a fellow sufferer I too rely on twinges of pain to remind me of what must be done.
DeleteThe natural way the body attempts to relieve back spasm turned out to cause even more injury.
Years of following the advice of others, while offering temporary respite turned out to be equally counterproductive in the long term.
By learning more about the underlying causes, a better and counterintuitive strategy (tightening the stomach) turned out to be much more effective in the long run.
What seemed natural or obvious to others too often turned out to be wrong for me, for gender issues and back pain too.