A friend and I were talking about something that has begun and is very important for me; finding ways of letting friends and loved ones know what is happening in your life as you are beginning the process of transition. She went through this some years ago and admitting no two people found out in the same way. This is particularly important if you are hoping as I am, to be able to show those you care about that you trust them to be constant as your friend. To do this, they need to be let in on the secret before it becomes obvious to anyone that you are transitioning. Then it comes as a shock, and they are thinking "why didn't she (wishful thinking this is the pronoun) tell us long ago?"
At some point in the chat, we came to a question very likely to be asked:
"Why now? Why not put transition off longer? You have been able to put it off until now."
If you cannot answer this one, well, then you should put it off.
Perhaps a harder and related question is "Why did you wait so long before declaring this is something that must happen?"
The really short answers go like this.
I waited because I could.
I am not putting it off any longer, because I can't.
Another question that is going to get asked: How do your spouse and kids feel about what is happening?
Our kids told me they know that no matter what, I will be the same person for them; always their dad.
My sweetie has told me she will support me, and wants us to transition together.
I am a very lucky gal.
Yes you are, I smile a lot more these last days. xx
ReplyDeleteWould I be wrong in maintaining my assumption that the process of transfiguration (why that word seems appropriate I don't know), no matter how much you may choose to try to hide it, is not actually under your control? It is part of a process of becoming that follows its natural course. I can understand that there may be 'bits and pieces' that require change-by-choice, but is not the underlying movement towards something new as inevitable as a pupa becoming a butterfly?
ReplyDeleteTom, you have made the absolutely perfect assumption for this process. While most of my life was spent feeling wrong, clearly it simply was not my time to come to potential.
DeleteThe butterfly is a very important symbol for us.
Trying to hold out against a riding tide might be another. You can keep your head above water only for so long. A point comes when you are in danger of drowning, and must swim with the current.
ReplyDeleteLucy
That is a fine metaphor Lucy.
DeleteDrinking a celebratory pint in your honour! Prost!
ReplyDeleteI feel honoured. Thank you dear Smokey Swallow.
DeleteHi Halle
ReplyDeleteJust as possibly the biblical stories are best interpreted as metaphors for life so your pathway with its many twists, turns and hurts to conclude you’re still a lucky gal is a good analogy for living life to the full.
Best wishes
That is how it feels here Lindsay. All the best to you too.
DeleteI am sooo late that by now you undoubtedly know the good feeling of slinging new colors and patterns around your neck.
ReplyDeleteHoping she likes to be hugged, here is a big one.
I love hugs, so thank you and a big one back.
Delete