Self Image ~ Authenticity means... ?

Today's post follows, below the fold. I do need to mention that today I feel calm again, convinced that there is a need for much revision in how I live my gender. Perhaps I feel better because the chemistry has settled down. I believe it also has to do with knowing I've made a start toward heading off the next crisis before it happens, thanks to huge support from friends. As Calie says, trans-friends, people who care and understand us, are essential to our wellbeing.
Anyway, the experience has woken me up to the need for change and that is a start. I will be talking to my therapist about repressed feelings and denial and other things.

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As a transsexual, I am regularly checking my motives. If you are trans, you do too.

Madam Inquisitor asks, "What did that dream of a powerful, and yes, provocatively dressed Halle mean? Who did you dress up like that for?" My answer to her, over and over is that if/when I present myself to the world in a costume like that it will be for the pure fun of being together with people whose company I enjoy, and to have a lot of laughs with good memories to share. 

I will not be looking for a date, or even any male attention. Heck, I'm getting old, although...  I suppose even Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke had her Matt Dillon (most of you are wayyy too young to get that but some did, didn't you? :-)

You probably know that I am a believer in messages coming at us when we need them, if we keep our eyes and hearts open. 

Here are two posts that I have particularly noticed and have appreciated yesterday and this morning. These writers haven't a clue who I am, but like me, they send their ideas out in faith that there is someone, maybe only one person who needs to read and think along with them. 

Over at the right you will see BroadBlogs. This post, Real vs Cartoonish Sexuality has some important thoughts and links for all women. We live in a society where our sexuality is manipulated. Being authentic is not easy. 

The second link illustrates first the amazing power of finding something you need when you need it, and second, how important it is to examine one's motives thoroughly. 

My life has been complicated, and as a child I went through some traumatic events. Because of that history, I have always had an awareness, as I suggest at the beginning of this post, that I need to examine my motives carefully. The brain is an amazing thing.  

Among many fears I have had in the past, that are never far from my concern, are those expressed well in this post from yesterday. The author, Kathleen included this note at the bottom of her post. I could probably append some version to many of my own. 

    " I know I wrote about this just six months ago; please forgive the repetition. For two weeks now, I’ve felt a need to write about this again. It may be that someone who reads this blog needs to see it."

To finish up, here is a piece that picked up my spirits yesterday on a long drive that likely helped me get some perspective. 
Here is my favourite jazz pianist and singer Diana Krall in 1996 at the Montréal Jazz Festival with Straighten Up and Fly Right. 
Good advice for all of us, especially if we have a monkey riding on our backs!