“Real isn't how you are made, ... It's a thing that happens to you."*
Almost six years ago, a post called Timeless appeared here. It narrated an imagined encounter with a guide on the spiritual plane (if that sounds hokey ... ah well) named Aadi, and an alternate self, Beth. This was not the first post of that sort. Dreamtime encounters became an important part of my search (or quest) for inner peace. To be fair, it might be that becoming open to the idea of dreamtime encounters was what was important and the rest flowed from that.
So much has happened to me since then, and yet when I read what that person (who seems so remote from who I am now) wrote those years ago, it still feels authentic. In retrospect, Aadi and Beth should have seemed far-fetched (even to me), but they weren't - for me then or now. They were facets of myself and it was very important for me at that time to know them and flesh them out in these posts. Aadi and Beth were companions and helpers along the way on a quest that ended with me accepting who I am.
Almost six years ago, a post called Timeless appeared here. It narrated an imagined encounter with a guide on the spiritual plane (if that sounds hokey ... ah well) named Aadi, and an alternate self, Beth. This was not the first post of that sort. Dreamtime encounters became an important part of my search (or quest) for inner peace. To be fair, it might be that becoming open to the idea of dreamtime encounters was what was important and the rest flowed from that.
So much has happened to me since then, and yet when I read what that person (who seems so remote from who I am now) wrote those years ago, it still feels authentic. In retrospect, Aadi and Beth should have seemed far-fetched (even to me), but they weren't - for me then or now. They were facets of myself and it was very important for me at that time to know them and flesh them out in these posts. Aadi and Beth were companions and helpers along the way on a quest that ended with me accepting who I am.
I was on that quest for many years. It took me to dark places where danger existed - but demons were not slain. Instead, they became better understood and eventually accepted or, at least, put in their place.
Long before starting this blog and connecting with real people who could help me understand myself, there were visits to fiction sites on the internet where folks like me were magically transformed to become real. As we know, stage magic is all in the preparation. In the end, nothing is really transformed. The rabbit and dove are always real before they are pulled from the hat. The assistant only appears to have been sawn in half.
Long before starting this blog and connecting with real people who could help me understand myself, there were visits to fiction sites on the internet where folks like me were magically transformed to become real. As we know, stage magic is all in the preparation. In the end, nothing is really transformed. The rabbit and dove are always real before they are pulled from the hat. The assistant only appears to have been sawn in half.
A different sort of magic lives inside of us and takes a sort of preparation that is quite different. After it is over it feels more real than anything sudden, theatrical, or mysterious. Yet, if I tried to explain what happened to me and all the transformations before name changes and surgery, it would sound ... well ... like magic.
Any decent quest changes the protagonist forever. Without the journey, I would not exist now. Without the struggles I couldn't feel the peace I feel now.
It seems to me the source of transformation for good is love - for others and self. The Velveteen Rabbit* would never have become real without the love of the Boy. For me, the child was within. There was forgiveness, then love from that long-neglected child. What sealed the deal was the love given by others. When I reached out, love came from so many directions; from people whom I had never met before (or since in many cases). Without support and reassurance from them, I might never have come home from my quest. Yet, looking back now, it seems like coming home safely was inevitable; just like a novel.
The very end of my quest involved two people rescuing each other, and that story would definitely make a wonderful fantasy fiction!
And then a strange thing happened. For where the tear had fallen a flower grew out of the ground, a mysterious flower, not at all like any that grew in the garden. It had slender green leaves the colour of emeralds, and in the centre of the leaves a blossom like a golden cup. It was so beautiful that the little Rabbit forgot to cry, and just lay there watching it. And presently the blossom opened, and out of it there stepped a fairy."
*The Velveteen Rabbit or How Toys Become Real, Margery Williams
“All my life I have been wandering in the dark - but now I have found your heart - and am satisfied.”
“And what do all the great words come to in the end, but that? - I love you - I am at rest with you - I have come home.”
Busman’s Honeymoon, Dorothy L. Sayers
"She was quite the loveliest fairy in the whole world. Her dress was of pearls and dewdrops, and there were flowers round her neck and in her hair, and her face was like the most perfect flower of all. And she came close to the little Rabbit and gathered him up in her arms and kissed him on his velveteen nose that was all damp from crying.
ReplyDelete"Little Rabbit," she said, "don't you know who I am?"
(If you ever want to contact, my e-mail address is on my last post. I would hate to lose contact with my family.)
Thank you so much, dear Tom.
DeleteHi Halle,
ReplyDeleteYour post reminds me of an interview with Dr Allen Wolf entitled "Physics of the Soul" where he talks about how he believes we always have one foot in the past and one in the present. That’s reassuring to know you have reached a certain positive existential state, to dream afresh.
Best wishes
'Aah that's the spirit of the land at this particulate spot, that's now inside of me".
Best wishes
Hmm ... I always wanted to give birth. I definitely went walkabout in my latent period. But that aside, here is a link to a transcript of the interview with Fred Allen Wolf (aka Dr. Quantum). https://livingnow.com.au/physics-of-the-soul-interview-with-dr-fred-alan-wolf/
ReplyDeleteI particularly relate to this quote from the interview:
"It (Quantum Physics) gives us faith in our own empowerment. When people realise that reality is not something that is out there, independent of the observer of reality, it opens up the door to a way in which we can realise that through our actions of observation, reality that is perceived by us, has actually been created by us."
It is not the world you see, but how you see the world that matters.
Best to you as well Lindsay.