"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Friday, 27 January 2012

True Love

"Oh, my darling. You are everything I have ever wanted. When we are together, my heart soars. Apart, I wait for our next time together with breathless anticipation; anticipation of the way you respond to my lightest touch, like a thoroughbred. Your leather seats warm me…. "

You knew that was a new car owner right from the start of course. No?

There are many kinds of love you see, and as it turns out (and yes I am sadly aware of how cynical this sounds, so think about it and challenge me if you like), the kind of love we have for a car and the kind of love we have for a mate are sometimes quite close. This love differs wildly from the sort of love we have (or should have) for our children. That love, what the Greek agape was used to describe is an unconditional love and mirrors the sort of love I meditate on in the morning these days.

Sadly, the car will get older and need repairs and fall apart and naturally at some point love of car turns to put up with old heap turns into lust for a new and sleeker, or more functionally sufficient model.

Lets face it, if you went out one morning and there was a horse and wagon where your car should be, you would be horrified.

If your child comes to you and reveals that they have "become a horse" and needs your understanding and help, it is a different matter, one hopes. But what of a spouse? Is our love of spouse more like love of a possession? Is our spouse simply a high maintenance piece of equipment that needs to be coaxed along so that it can fulfil its purpose in our grand scheme?

Is it true love? Yes, of course it is, but what sort of love is it?


  1. I would say that I have a love for my half a lifetime partner but mere great fulness for the motorised travel arrangement device each time it works...

    My partner like me is not the person who I met so long ago. We have both changed in so many ways, often together but just as often in different ways but that thing we call love changes too...

  2. You mention 'Agape Love' as unconditional love, and you are correct, and so, I just couldn't resist.

    OOPS! Here I go again. But I know you like to research things, so here it is.

    Romans 5:8 (King James Version) But God commendeth his LOVE toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

    God's Love is always unconditional.

    Please check this site for 'Love' and the word Agape.


    The site is for Strongs Concordance, an exhaustive breakdown of almost every word in the Bible, and the original Greek word that is translated into English, hence 'Agape'=unconditional love.

    Caroline mentions that she and her partner have changed over the years, and I will tell you that my wife and I have changed very much over the years also. I would have to say that we are so much closer and more in love than ever before, and that is do to our faith in Jesus Christ as our savior.

    I hope you know I think of you as a sister, and that I thoroughly enjoy your writing. You invoke much to think about for me. I hope that I may do the same for you.

    Hugs and Prayers,


  3. You mention "many" kinds of love. On top of what Cynthia wrote, the Bible mentions a couple of other kinds of love of which we are all aware...phileo (sp?) which is a brotherly love, and eros which is romantic/sexual love. The greatest of the three is agape...the unconditional love you mentioned.

    Unconditional love is a love that sees beyond the physical. It is a love of acceptance that is able to connect to the true heart in others. The mother of an axe murderer will never stop loving that child, even though the child had become "the horse." Unconditional love almost always involves sacrifice and commitment, but sacrifice and commitment freely given. A parent who unconditionally loves his/her child would almost surely be willing to sacrifice their own life to save the life of that child. Christians believe that God the Father went one step further by offering the life of his son for our sins. What greater act of sacrifice could be made? Any parent would rather give their own life instead of their child's, but would they be willing to freely give their life for millions that hate them? The Bible also emphasizes that Christ WILLINGLY offered this sacrifice of unmeasurable unconditional love.

    There's one other aspect to unconditional love that many overlook. As we grow in our efforts to develop that perfect love, how far does that love extend? Does it stop at our family circle or does it also include our friends and casual acquaintances? Shouldn't it also include accepting every single human being on the face of the earth?

    We seek acceptance from the world for our differences...are we willing to accept OTHERS unconditionally too? Accepting someone does not necessarily mean we agree with them about everything.

    This thing called unconditional love is what the world really needs. We can do our part by loving every person the same, no matter what they do, what they believe, how they act, etc. The old expression "hate the act, not the person" rings so true on this subject. The more we show unconditional love to others, the more likely they are to grow in their understanding of what it really is, and the greater will be their acceptance of us.

    Like Cynthia's, my marriage has blossomed in the last few years. We just celebrated our 36th anniversary on Jan 4th. I can unequivocally state that our marriage is now stronger than ever before. Why? Because I have stopped hiding my true self from my wife, and she has unconditionally accepted me for who I really am. She realizes I'm not changing into another person, I'm simply exposing who I have always been...the person she loves with all her heart.

    This topic is one of the most important subjects we could ever discuss. I hope we ALL spend time meditating on it as often as possible.

  4. Dare I say that most of the reasons for which we love somebody or something are selfserving. Because her/his touch/voice/mind make ME feel good, it allows ME to be it's master, they are good listeners, it makes MY handwriting look half decent, it awakens MY sense of smell/taste, they nurrish MY mind and......
    Yes we love all in a different way but not unconditionally.
    Unconditional love is 'Youkali' - a dream, a folly that don't exist.
    I might change my mind about this but don't know when.
    I hope your sound system is as good as mine. You might enjoy to ask youtube for 'Youkali Ute Lemper'. My Saturday afternoon gift to you, Halle, with OOOOO.

  5. A horse and buggy might be kind of cool! At least if the horse was a good one.

    Despite "the four loves," as far as I know there are even more words in Greek for different kinds of love. I remember one called storge, which if I recall correctly is the kind of fondness and attachment we have for inanimate objects -- a car, a guitar, a comfortable pair of boots.

    I never experienced unconditional love from a parent. I know they're supposed to have it, but not all parents do. More often than people might thing, parental love is very conditional. I think some of us find that out when we change sex.

    I do think that the love between my spouse and myself is unconditional -- not something wildly different at all. We have been together almost 31 years, through more thick and thin than anyone could ever have imagined. Our relationship now is better than ever, although it's also rather different than it was.

    I don't think it's possible to love everyone in the world, certainly not unconditionally. I do think, however, that it's possible to behave lovingly in our daily lives. We will fail sometimes, of course, but if behaving lovingly is our goal we will also succeed much of the time.