On Tuesday, the good doctor and his surgical team did what they could to create a physical world for me that genetics could not. Using the material at hand and their extensive understanding of how the body works, they set me on a path. That is all they could do.
I am now adrift in this new world.
It is amazing how a Truth will turn on you if you are not careful.
It is not the world you see, but how you see the world that matters.
In a very real sense, there is a birth happening here. Birth, as we know, is wonderful and, at the same time, incredibly uncomfortable.
A girlfriend my age texted me: "How do you like being a girl now? Lol... Seriously.... hope you're not hurting too much."
And my reply to her: "Did anyone ask you that moments after you gave birth?" Her reply was to laugh herself silly.
This birth is happening in slow motion. I can tell that there are beautiful new parts of my body that I will soon have to care for religiously. This is what I have. This is what I want. Getting upset at the painful sensations is to miss the messages those body parts are sending. "I am here. I am alive and I'm letting you know I can feel things."
I am trying to avoid the kinds of pain that are repetitious and annoying (thus the cough drop ...). Of course, I am anxious to be done with this birthing process but, at the same time, I'm leaning into the pain so that I miss nothing.
This is a miracle, after all.