"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Friday, 4 February 2011

We All Need Help Sometimes

Lately I have been feeling very down... attempts to get on with life in spite of what goes on in this somewhat addled old mind get side-tracked by the feelings of 'not trans enough', as though somehow I ever really wanted to be trans-anything! What a hoot.

That is what happens; you get doing something, like blogging, and somehow the process becomes more significant than the content.

This morning I had a lovely wake-up call from Zoë, over at “becoming Zoë”. I may just copy out the first paragraph, put it up on my 'fridge' and remind myself what it is my life should continue to be about.
Thank you Zoë. I too hope everyone can somehow get back on with living as well as they can, and wishing the same for others.
Do yourself a favor and read her post.




  1. Valuable words to save indeed, Halle. Forget the terms and the labels and the definitions and the opinions. At the end of the day, not only is there nothing wrong with finding our own happiness, there's nothing better.

  2. Thank for for reading and humbled that my words help lift you.


  3. Halle

    this is definitely a popular theme here lately. I believe there is just a lot of hated in the world at this very moment and it carries over to other things.
    What amazes me is that it carries into our subculture of society. We ALL have enough haters out there. We have people who want to take freedoms and liberties away from us as a group. So why in the world would we want to weaken our plight with infighting. I so do not know! I saw one of the girl who I follow the other day made a comment on a blog and she got lambasted! For expressing her opinion, and it was not a bad opinion.
    When we see hatred I say you call it out! Call the person on it, tell them you won't stand for it, and to go away. If your trans and you want to spew your hatred, well do it by yourself, be alone, because obviously you haven't lost enough becoming trans to appreciate those around you.
    Thanks for pointing it out.


  4. Sally, so right, happiness is very individual. When we find it, we must never let someone with prejudices take it from us.

    You are right Bree, there definitely seems to be a lack of will to be understanding and caring for others out there... we need to call people on it when they start spreading hatred.

    Zoe, your words did indeed lift me, and I thank you again for saying this so well!


  5. Halle,

    I'm not sure I am following yours or Zoe's post. It's kind of vague. There has been a lot of talk about TS/IS vs non-gender conforming amongst the blogs. I don't know if it's so much about hate as it is frustration.

    I think a lot of it stems from where you are in transition. For those who are in the process or living full time I think they are frustrated.

    I know for me, my opinion of many things in my life has changed drastically depending on where I've stood. For example, I certainly don't see my faith the same way I did years ago but it wasn't about being 'right or wrong' but rather about perspective.

    Instead of chastising people for screaming out, maybe we should recognize the emotions behind that screaming and realize that while some of us are safely behind our keyboards, they're out in the trenches facing the very fears we pontificating about. They are scared, frustrated and yelling for help. Those in the midst of transition have no hiding spots and not all have support.

    I think we have to be careful when we try to simplify something that is not simple by any stretch but rather highly complex and involves real people with real emotions.

    I don't think saying we need to stop the infighting addresses the issue at all. I relate it to war. Soldiers are trained to do their jobs but nothing prepares you for actual battle. It's one thing to sit in a classroom and draw up strategy and teach someone to shoot a rifle, its quite another to sit in a hole and listen to bullets fly over your head. It's easy in the classroom to say how you should do it, its a different world on the battlefield.

    There are exceptions to every rule and yes there are some out there that just look to sew drama, but there are far more that are simply screaming for help.

    I guess the irony of this post is that it makes me the minority post!

    Great blog btw...

  6. Halle,

    On your suggestion, I read Zoe's post. I cannot agree with her more. I understand Laura's position in us being isolated behind a KB. That such isolation allows us to be meaner that normal I don't see.

    Maybe Rodney King was on to something.

    o.t. Laura, great blog, I have started going through the chapters.

    Hugs all around!


  7. “...it wasn't about being 'right or wrong' but rather about perspective.”
    Laura, your contribution here is so very welcomed. When we stop fighting, that should never mean that we just let unfounded or deluded statements go unchallenged, especially from someone (like myself) who has not been there and done that, whatever there and that happens to be.

    My position firmly behind a keyboard gives me no authority. I make an effort to not only speak from where I am, about what is going on for me, but to be clear to everyone that I have no authority on subjects like transitioning or girl's night out, or a raft of topics outside of my experience.

    So it is for others. It is unlikely that a thirty something who has been involved in the 'scene' for half their life is going to have any kind of perspective on what it is like to be me. If she were to try to tell me how I should live my life it would be offensive in the extreme, and vise versa.

    It is quite obvious that there are people of different age and situation who are traveling around here looking (or yes, screaming) for help in the confusion and pain of various gender issues. If we are honest about what we do, and where we are coming from, and the feelings around it for us, then maybe they can gain insight and hope. If we who do comment do it with the intent to keep each other honest, and do it in such a way as to avoid driving the author underground (as has been happening), then our posts will have a better chance to be an opportunity for learning and understanding.

    Thank you Laura. So good to hear from you! It just occurred to me that this comment is way longer than the original post!! You did well to stimulate so much thought with your comment, and I really do appreciate that.

    I hope you and others will call me out if and when my 'pontificating' gets out of hand.



    LOL... for my friends down-under... my word verification is "strooth"; kid you not.

  8. Halle,

    You have absolutely nothing to apologize for! You are sorting through your thoughts and I think you are amazing for doing it publicly.

    Don't think for a moment any of us (including me) get it right. I just think of all of my own opinions that have changed since I began this journey. If anything, I feel like I know less now than when I started.

    I am so happy to have this community to share all of our thoughts and emotions. I think of it like the rock climbers. We are all roped together and its our job to help each other up every now and then. I appreciate you being there so often on my own blog to lift me up and I hope to do the same with you sometimes.

    Luv ya lots girly!!!


    PS - Sarah thanks for the kind words!