"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Sunday, 4 April 2010

Welcome to My World

Now try to contain yourself; it is a very small world so far. Even though my mind can travel farther and faster than anyone could have imagined one hundred years ago thanks to this technology, my corporeal essence has never even been seen by anyone other than the other person inhabiting this body; the guy I created to live up to the outward illusion that I am male.

For those who have blundered here, yes, I was born male, have lived as a male (sometimes with great effort) and so far, in my case, live as a female only in my mind. If you don’t want to deal with those sorts of ideas in a calm, rational way, it is time to leave now. Thanks for visiting.

For the rest of us, what will be offered here is a perspective into what it means to accept the reality (it is a real thing, believe us) of thinking female, feeling as a woman does, being affected by media as a woman, and yet maintaining the façade of maleness to avoid messing with peoples minds, and generally getting them really angry all of the time.

In order to give that perspective, it will be necessary to drop my guard. As you might imagine the guard that has been set up in a situation like mine is a very good one. I am an expert in deception, even though my male counterpart would have denied that vigorously for the first 56 years of his existence. After all, the best defense in this situation is to set things up so that no suspicion exists, AT ALL.

Just ask Mrs. Halle. She couldn’t have been more surprise than she was that day when I shared the revelation that I had only allowed myself to acknowledge to myself days before. So far was the guy into denial, that he mistook all of the symptoms of a trans-gendered nature for insanity. He told anyone who got to know him that he was crazy; watch out for falling parts. He told everyone who might care that he felt like an alien from another planet who was marooned here and was desperately trying to pass as a native (how am I doing?).

I am going to save the rest, because this is what I will share over whatever time it takes to get to the point where there is nothing else worth posting here.

So, as you go through your days, try to be true to yourself, as will I.




  1. Well, Halle, if you're an alien, then join the club. We're out there....where you least expect us to be.

    Calie xxx

  2. Welcome to the Club of Aliens, you never know who the other person is exactly that passes you on the street.

  3. Denial, yes it gave me 20 years of depression. Coming to terms with it feels good, doesn't it.

    I hope Mrs. H has come to terms with it as well as Mrs. J has.