"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Wednesday 6 August 2014

Embrace the Child

I really am too busy to be doing this writing, but it is as though some power has grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and dragged me here, telling me this is important! This is for now!

Those children dancing about in their innocent joy of my previous post might seem frivolous. I am not a frivolous type, take my word for it. Yet, when I meditated upon the difficulties in the world, and wondered what could possibly be done, my heart gave me that vision. It was for me to ponder what it meant. 

Children don't come into the world to hate, or even fear others. They begin looking for and accepting warmth, safety, ... love in other words. Finding fear is the shock. Being taught that dancing about and being childlike is childish is a surprise, but then being threatened with punishment for being a child ends the story. Soon enough, other learnings take the place of the search for loving warmth and safety. Our race has survived in a hostile world. We are prepared by natural selection to be survivors. Learning and adapting means getting control of your world by any means at your disposal. Watch children and how they manipulate those around them. It can be gentle and loving. It can be horrendous. Careful the things you do, children will see, and learn. 

I was a child of a relatively safe home, but learned early on that asking for the girl-toy got me in trouble. By the time I could figure out that I hated being pushed to the boy's part of the playground, it was clear that it was "man-up or be in trouble". The rest, denial, self-loathing followed too easily. Yet in the scheme of things, being trans and unable to do anything about it is small potatoes.

I wasn't asked to shoot my first firearm until I was 12. My father enjoyed hunting. I did not. Nobody ever forced me to use one ever again, so I have not.
Please understand, living in Central Ontario, Canada it is obvious that there are many whose lives depend upon successful hunting and fishing. 
Teaching children respect for nature and the ability to feed themselves is right. 

Teaching children to hate and kill is not.

 p.s. Thank you Lindsay for the comment. Here is a video inspired by that lovely thought.

Careful the spell you cast
Not just on children
Sometimes the spell may last
Past what you can see
And turn against you
Careful the tale you tell
That is the spell
Children will listen


  1. A very thoughtful, revealing post - and very much to the point. And one does not need to be a 'trans' to experience similar incidents in one's life. The whole aim of society appears to be to turn children into dysfunctional, biological units designed to be slotted into a dysfunctional society.

    1. And one does not need to be 'trans' to experience similar incidents in one's life.
      As each of us enters our own example into that paragraph, we can all see how much improved our own life might have been.
      Is it too melodramatic to suggest that the survival of our race depends upon a change in those societal aims?
      Thank you Tom.

  2. The comedian Denis Leary made a similar point in one of his routines: "My nephew just turned five years old. You know what he hates? Naps." Just so.

    Hatred is learned, not inborn. And if it is learned, then it can be unlearned. Each person that chooses to do so represents a victory against darkness. And we need all the light we can get these days...

    == Cass

  3. The words from “You've Got to Be Carefully Taught" from that grand musical of South Pacific by Rogers and Hammerstein jump out at me!! Whilst on a slightly different tack the sentiment adds up to the same theme as your post.
    You've got to be taught
    To hate and fear,
    You've got to be taught
    From year to year,
    It's got to be drummed
    In your dear little ear
    You've got to be carefully taught.

    You've got to be taught to be afraid
    Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
    And people whose skin is a different shade,
    You've got to be carefully taught.

    You've got to be taught before it's too late,
    Before you are six or seven or eight,
    To hate all the people your relatives hate,
    You've got to be carefully taught!

    1. Ah Lindsay, a kindred spirit! You might have caught my reference to a perhaps lesser known musical Into The Woods. I almost put two video selections by Mandy Patinkin at the bottom and Carefully Taught was the other. If you like Mandy, here is the link.
      Thank you so much for stopping by and adding this lovely support.

  4. What do we do to children?

    Virtual bouquet of flowers for being my first follower, how did you find me so quickly, I have only just started my blog? I have been dropping in here on and off for ages but now am linked in.

    1. Isn't it amazing how when we reach out and comment, we allow others to find us! So good to meet you Ruby! Really looking forward to reading more over at The Grass is Greener..
      http://thegrassisgreenernftos.blogspot.ca/ for those who might stop by! :-)

  5. Great rendition !! I also absolutely love the work of Stephen Sondheim and the musical "Into the Woods". I have attended that musical and “A little night music” whose enchanting music and lyrics might well echo a line from Shakespeare by Puck: "Lord, what fools these mortals be.”!!
    Best wishes