"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Thursday, 3 December 2015

How Could I Have Been So... Lucky

Way too often when we look backward in our lives it is with that awful thing; regrets. 

I don't know about you, but I've done way more than my share of whining about how much better my life might have been. I've even written posts here where I've gone back and met younger versions of myself to give them a little push in another direction, or in a few cases, to meet an alternate and female version of myself in order to find out just how wonderful, or perhaps even mundane and 'normal' life might have been, "If Only..."

But the fact is, even years ago, when the darkest of feelings plagued me secretly, and every day was a struggle to keep the façade intact, there were choices that made a huge difference in my life today. There was time spent in conversations with and books recommended by friends that shaped my thinking. There were impulses from out of the blue too, impulses that I followed, and impulses that others followed, and when recalling those now, it is clear that without seemingly random gifts this person I am, currently feeling wonderfully blessed, would not be here, because small but essential pieces of the puzzle would never have fallen into place.
I have recently been reminded that even before the façade, before adulthood and the pressures it brought, there were times that were confusing and difficult, yet even then, there was beauty and wonder at work, that has only recently become so very obvious. 

Whatever we call inner guidance, Aadi, god, or goddess, or even if we never care to name or acknowledge that gifting agent, it is good to be thankful. 

I feel so very lucky! It does get better. 


  1. Me used to be angry young man
    Me hiding me head in the sand
    You gave me the word
    I finally heard
    You're doing the best that I can
    I've got to admit it's getting better
    A little better all the time
    (It couldn't get no worse)
    I have to admit it's getting better
    It's getting better since you've been mine
    Getting so much better all the time

  2. The lyrics reflect the personalities of Lennon and McCartney. Paul sings "I've got to admit it's getting better" - to which John replies "It can't get much worse." lol Just so. :c)

    Thoughtful post as usual, hon! Thank you!


  3. I have to thank you two for coming by and adding a lovely touch to the place! And of course, giving me today's earworm... and what can a girl do but share with all her friends, so I have made an addendum, just for you two!

    Hugs to you both


  4. I have driven myself crazy on a few occasions going round in circles wondering whether or not I wished things had been different. On he one hand I would have got to be me a lot longer, on the other hand I am only me because of the experiences that I have had. I'm pleased to say that the life that I have had (and so the person that I am now) is more than worth the hassle that life has thrown at me :)

    Except for one night, about 2 days after surgery I was in pain, could not get comfortable and for the first time could not stop myself thinking: why me?

    But I have a truly great spouse, a nice job and life and the little dude is just the best thing that that has happened to me.

    Yes, why me? How did I get so lucky! Fantastic post!

  5. So glad to hear you are so well Stace! I know what you mean about the little dude. Cannot imagine life without our two.
    Thanks for stopping by.