Way too often when we look backward in our lives it is with that awful thing; regrets.
I don't know about you, but I've done way more than my share of whining about how much better my life might have been. I've even written posts here where I've gone back and met younger versions of myself to give them a little push in another direction, or in a few cases, to meet an alternate and female version of myself in order to find out just how wonderful, or perhaps even mundane and 'normal' life might have been, "If Only..."
But the fact is, even years ago, when the darkest of feelings plagued me secretly, and every day was a struggle to keep the façade intact, there were choices that made a huge difference in my life today. There was time spent in conversations with and books recommended by friends that shaped my thinking. There were impulses from out of the blue too, impulses that I followed, and impulses that others followed, and when recalling those now, it is clear that without seemingly random gifts this person I am, currently feeling wonderfully blessed, would not be here, because small but essential pieces of the puzzle would never have fallen into place.
I have recently been reminded that even before the façade, before adulthood and the pressures it brought, there were times that were confusing and difficult, yet even then, there was beauty and wonder at work, that has only recently become so very obvious.
Whatever we call inner guidance, Aadi, god, or goddess, or even if we never care to name or acknowledge that gifting agent, it is good to be thankful.
I feel so very lucky! It does get better.