"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Tuesday 5 June 2018

I Need to Smile More?

There are all sorts of good reasons for me to smile these days, so I do it a lot. However, someone going around with a smile on their face all of the time looks a bit idiotic ... or do they?

For many who visit here, passing is an important subject. I've mentioned that there are some issues that I have with my hair, voice, and body, so when meeting someone for the first time they likely have some challenges with my femininity, until we get to know one another. After that, there is no issue; I am me! 

I've found that when walking into a new situation, a smile is often all I need to relieve the tension. If I show that I am confident and pleasant, most of the time the person who stares will smile back, and we go on our own ways. 

Only recently has it dawned on me (I can be rather slow) that smiling more is something that is generally expected of women. The other day on a Canadian talk show, they had a discussion about what is definitely a gender bias. Women, it seems, generally have a hard time if they don't have a pleasant expression. 

It isn't just me! For some examples, read here and here

So, guys, if you want everyone to know how male you are, stop grinning all the time. I know you want to smile, though. 

And, gals, smile; let everyone know how happy you are to be you! 


  1. You just can't win! If you don't smile enough, you're just a stroppy curmudgeon; if you smile too much you're either an imbecile or just insultingly rude. In my next life I'll opt for neutral-gender.

  2. I have found this to be true Halle and quite by accident. As I started to feel happier about my being trans the smile would come out more and I noticed women responding to this. Sometimes a woman and I will look stares and we smile at each other almost as if it is expected and it comes off as being very genuine for both of us. This is something men do not do. So yes smiling more is a definite plus I say!

  3. smile and the world smiles with you, girn and you girn alone...

  4. Definitely avoiding the grin! As Tom says, something between is best, so I've been working on a pleasant look. Sometimes I feel like a kid, trying on my best "I'm oh, so pleasant, but not an imbecile" look in the mirror.