"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Sunday 6 March 2011

Super Heroine?

As you know, I have a secret identity to cover my true status as a person with supernatural powers. I use this 'mild mannered man' appearance to protect loved ones from the dangers that would beset them otherwise. Sadly however, and more frequently than not, this super-heroine is getting tired of having to pretend she is less than she truly is. More dangerously, from time to time, one life threatens to bleed over into the other.

Hiding behind my pretend powerless (and supposedly clueless) persona most of the time means I need to be able to share time with other super folk like you. It is so wonderful to not have to explain myself. We are not all the same, but we all have experience of another layer of reality unavailable to the average person. We can relate to each other without having to filter all the time.

Everyone in my secret identity life think that 'real' person is oh so wonderful. They have no idea! Sometimes I yearn to tell them that there is a really wonderful part of me they need to meet, then go into my 'phonebooth' and twirl a few times to emerge as my real self; Jedi Halle. Sadly, this is not the way for super-heros or heroines.

Today's post is mostly inspired by thoughts of Teagan's post "extricate thyself". Reading it, my first reaction was 'how very healthy and right her attitude is'. My comment to that effect was heartfelt and immediate. I will admit it saddens me to realize how far from her situation I am by living in two worlds.

Having two lives that cannot overlap is not healthy; I know it. I need to get a copy of "Living As a Super Hero For Dummies" I guess. Maybe I will develop a secret formula to allow me to integrate the two, keep the super-powers of courage and compassion and understanding I have learned here and somehow feel confident enough to let the people who know the mild mannered man into the others parts of me without scaring them off too?

Oh well, at least I have managed to get my problems to evolve some from where they were a year ago. I may only be a 'heroine in my own mind' but that is definitely a start!




  1. I wish you luck keeping the two spirits apart while giving both some life.

    I never dreamed that the world would accept my hidden self as much and in many cases more than the old husk which contained me and my toxic thoughts for so long.

    Caroline xxx

  2. I hope someday you're able to integrate the two, and people at some get the privilege of seeing the whole, complete you... whatever that may or may not be.

  3. Maybe you just need to build a fake phone-booth at home and practice dressing and makeup in it. :)