In a Dark Place

The test of any strategy is how it holds up when it is under stress.

This will be short and not well edited. Today, for no particular reason my need to be me is high and I am very distracted. What I realize is that, even as I am doing this, writing here is the last thing I should be doing because the awareness of this body is a constant reminder of my incongruence. It is going to get finished and published because someone out there might be in the same place, and we need to know we are not alone, and that there are others who will do anything they can to resist giving into transition.

In a couple of minutes, my body and mind will be immersed in intense concentration on a musical pursuit. I will be practicing some difficult pieces of music that I want to be able to play well in a few weeks. It will give me no time to recognize the fact of my sex; no time to be reminded that it is all wrong. There is no special way to dress or behave while doing this.

If you must (and only if you must) be like me, try to find something in your own life that you can do to immerse yourself and totally distract that overactive mind. I am accepting who I am, but living as though it really does not matter. Quite a trick and only right when that is what you must do.