"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Friday 14 January 2011

Finding Optimism

I used to spend a lot of my time looking for the reason why this thing was happening to me, and looking for someone to blame for it. Like so many (if we can believe the trans-fiction that is out there), I dreamt of someone magically coming and fixing me up, or taking me and forcing me to become who I secretly dreamt of being. More on this another time.

What I have found, is that there is more pleasure in taking charge of my own life, and believing that nothing about it is random and wrong. As hard as it might seem, I am convinced that I already am the person I need to be in order to find happiness. That is not to say I am perfect; there is lots of growth left in this soul.

This morning, Natasha has written a post she calls “Karmic Curveballs”. In it, she notes “I have found life most interesting when everything I expected of it suddenly shifts.” You might want to read it all then (please) come back. I was going to leave a comment there, but then I found the associated ideas getting bigger and bigger in my brain... and realized, that is no comment; it's a post! Thanks 'Tasha! :)

First let me say (or remind you, if you have been here a lot), I am a rationalist. I believe in things that I can see or feel, and I do not accept supernatural explanations for any of the things I believe. I do wonder sometimes just how complex my interaction with the rest of the universe is. When challenges start to come my way (not just trans related), I find that when I try to avoid them, other challenges arrive that are similar in nature. Soon, I usually notice a pattern developing, and realize that I am drawing these challenges to myself because there is some lesson I really need. Once I take them on, they stop arriving. New challenges take their place.

One of the people who influenced my thinking when I was in my thirties and forties (a while ago, I am afraid) is Richard Bach. Look up – look way up...(my Canadian readers will remember the source of that one) and you will find my all-time favourite Bach quote. Here is another, apropos to today's topic:

There are no mistakes. The events you bring upon yourself, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary to learn what you need to know.”*

and another,

You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self. Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you have nothing to learn from them.”*

I will never know if things really do happen for a reason; if you and I have been drawn together to share these ideas, or maybe it is all just random and meaningless.

I choose to believe that my life and its challenges are meaningful.

I will continue to swing at the curveballs because once you have done it for a while, it becomes a source of learning and fun to do so.

I will not hate this life, or its challenges. I will embrace them, and that will give me the power to be optimistic, and ultimately, happy.

*Messiah's Handbook – Copyright 2004, Richard Bach, Hampton Roads Publishing Company.  


  1. Great post, Halle! I've been looking for sources of optimism lately because it is so easy to get bogged down with self-pity or worse. By all accounts, I'm a very fortunate person because compared with the bulk of humanity, my troubles are minor. So instead of looking for reasons to be sad or angry, I'll seek the opposite (and I won't always succeed, but I will try!).


  2. Natasha, it is I who should thank you, for your post really did remind me of what I already knew, but had forgotten.

    Let's say we helped each other! :)

    "What matters is not the world we see, but how we see the world".


  3. Halle, sometimes it's hard to remember, but, we have been given a gift and it's up to us to learn how to use it in a positive manner. Thanks for the good thoughts that you have brought...

    Hugs, Elly

  4. Halle,

    Good post - life is for learning.
    I do wonder what ever became of Rusty and Gerome, though... :)

  5. Peggy, as long as there is youtube, Rusty, Jerome and Friendly will live on. :-)

    In Canada, we saw the U.S. children's programming, but also had our own. Two stand out in my mind (there were amazingly many fine ones). Mr. Dressup (use your imagination, but not too much ladies), and The Friendly Giant, portrayed by a wonderful soft-spoken man; Bob Homme. If you would like to understand the 'way up' reference, cut and paste the url:


  6. I'm always amazed to discover that Canada is actually another country :D


  7. This is a beautiful post, Halle. You're dealing with something quite difficult, and you seem to be very well with it--and not by supressing, but by finding your own way. Wonderful!

    I feel lucky to know you, even if only a little, just as you are.

  8. Your optimism is spreading further Halle. Thanks for passing it on. Lovely post

  9. Hi Halle,

    I so empathise with you and Natasha - not sure I can be so cool with the curve balls like you two are though - LoL. I'm cool with Mrs A's curved balls - so that's a start - LoL.

    Happy new year - Hugs Anna x

  10. Halle,

    You mention looking for reasons and dealing with actions. Sounds familiar. Once I got off the (un)merry go round of purging and "playing" ad nauseum, I came to to a level of self acceptance that was comforting.

    Great post. Once we stop beating ourselves up, optimism becomes much easier.


  11. Very thoughtful, introspective post. I especially love the ending ("I will not hate this life, or its challenges. I will embrace them, and that will give me the power to be optimistic, and ultimately, happy."). Great mantra to live by!