"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Saturday 12 June 2010

Can I Cure My Cure?

We live in an age of instant everything, yet there are still some things that just take time. If you have ever cooked a cream pie filling (we all do that regularly, right? Hehe , I do), well take it from me, there is no rushing it. You heat the mixture of flour and milk slowly over boiling water in a double boiler. For long minutes you stir and stir, feeling for that magic moment when the thickening starts to take place. It is worth the wait, but wait you must before adding in those other ingredients that make that pie not just smooth and silky, but so incredibly tasty as well.

In general, I am pretty good at waiting, but lately I find myself impatient that somehow a cure for my cure has not yet been found. Let me explain.

Many of you might not consider acceptance of trans-ness to be a wonderful thing, but in my case, and I know there is nodding of heads going on at this, it was a cure to a multitude of ills. This post is not where I will slog through my catalog of ills that plagued me through my life (and don’t hold your breath sister, you will never hear them in graphic detail here). Take it from me, I am so much healthier and happier to be who I am right now.

What do I need a cure for now, you ask? Well if you are asking that, you have never lived with two people vying for control in your mind. It can be fun (sometimes I’ve hinted at that part here), but mostly it can drive you to be distracted much of the time. The rest of the time, you might feel desperate to embrace one and chase the other away! As far as I know (and I only have experience trying to throw the lady out so far) there be dragons there…. Very scary still, and apologies to those of you who are way ahead of me. I am such a wimp, I know.

So I twist and struggle, trying to think of other ways to ‘cure’ myself. Taking a pill isn’t the answer to everything you know. It is only sensible that if I could single-handed take on and defeat the multitude of ills hinted to above, then this one itsy-bitsy little situation should be a piece of cake, right?!

Where did I put that recipe for Halle Cake?


Hmmm, so, what will I do?, … I could…maybe I should…Argggh!

I have 5¢. Where is Lucy Van Pelt when you need her?


  1. Halle, cream pie, pieces of cake?......so another cook! I get few opportunities to show my talent but cooking teaches patience and the concept of "the correct moment" to do something -like making Jam. However a little cooking sherry and a sharp gin & tonic also makes a happy cook!

  2. Come on, where is your sense of adventure. You know what the 'cure' is and taking any other sort of pill only mask and hide and sometime subdue whats raging inside, but this symptom we are trying to overcome will continue to lurk somewhere ready to spring out at the most inopportune time. Better to deal with this the way you are than to mask yourself. Just run and watch out for the stumbling blocks along the way.

  3. @Claire - a glass of wine... a G&T (especially in the summer)... either is a fine companion for the patient cook in our kitchen!
    @Sarah _ what! and spoil a perfectly good title for a blog?? I'd have to change it to, say "making a new façade" ;P

    Seriously though, I will run, jumping around trees and avoiding those jaws, then twist and turn until exhaustion wears me out and one of us dies here... but you have probably figured that out. I am not going quietly.