"The unexamined life is not worth living" Socrates

- - scatterings of ideas sent to my younger self, a sensitive girl who was fooled into believing she was a boy because of anatomy - -

Monday 17 May 2010

One Day at a Time

This weekend has been pretty interesting at several levels. Jenny over at Large Blooming Flower made a suggestion as a comment to Friday’s post that helped make what had promised to be a stressful time quite different. She suggested that if you find yourself surrounded by lovely women while in drab, enter into ‘girly chat’ mode so that you can avoid feeling even greater dysphoria. Thanks for all the supportive advice girls. It worked. The gathering was fun for me and I think the ladies at the gathering enjoyed it too, having a man listen to them for a change; not trying to dominate the conversation or be the center of it all.
This got me thinking about how my blog got its beginning.

I promised last month 'maintaining' would be about, well, what this weekend was about; being a man for the world, when the reality is, you are more female than male inside. I think it is time to explain where some of this came from.

Finding ways of getting through another day is really what we all need when maintaining our façade. Another day is how a lifetime happens. When you have a lady inside running the show, in a body that she really isn’t happy with, well that is a bad mix. In the next entry I will try to explain how I discovered that lady and how she saved me, so that we could carry on being a man in an intolerant world.

For those stopping by for the first time, some of my perspective about dealing with my dual nature was made in an earlier post, Why the façade? .

Sorry to leave you hanging. I will be back. It may take a little thinking time for me to put these ideas to virtual paper.




  1. Blimey, someone took something I said seriously? Careful now!

    I'm glad it worked for you. It's certainly saved me in the past.

  2. Sounds like a good way to enjoy a stressful situation. Wish I could work up the self confidence to join in at parties. Both me and Mrs Stace generally just fade into the background...


  3. Hey Stace, I fully understand the fading thing. It's what happens to me when I hang out with the men, mainly because talk about sports scores and records are deadly dull for me and I have trouble looking interested.

    Where I will likely get in trouble with 'girly chat' (yes Jenny I took you seriously! and I love that term too, hehe) is the situation where one of the girls actually cares what I think!


  4. Love your blog Halle, I know the facade approach so well, and Jenny's solution is one I use. But for me it manifests in the opposite way. I tend to be "the life & soul" of the party. In reality it is a combination of insecurity, (the humour is the defense) and of course my own facade. I have perfected the male act, years of watching my own responses make me very adept at picking up on the absurdities around me...so I can play the "guy at the heart of the party". But being one of the girls (even when presenting as male) is just more natural for me, and in some ways less effort. Looking forward to the next post!

  5. Thinking briefly about blokes talking sports scores etc reminded me of my mate C. Nice bloke, sometimes talks cars for just a tiny bit too long. Not too much of a problem for a petrol-head like me but on Monday morning we needed to get a move on. I started talking about nail polish. He stopped talking about cars and got a move on.

  6. @ Jenny - That is Priceless!